Who cares?

Sometimes........ being so nice all the time is not doing any good.

To all the assholes in the world

If you never acknowledge the existence of words such as ‘pain’, ‘hardworking’ and ‘poor people’, you are nothing.

• It annoys me so much how people can be so inhuman and bully.
• It makes me sick to hear people talk about Oxbridge as if it is a heaven. Just get over it.
• I am so sick of people who worship celebrities as if they are the most perfect form of life on earth.
• Tired of people wanting to help under-privileged people for the sake of Personal statement and increasing their chance to get into top universities, while at the same time, mock poor people.
  

I hope one day, you wake up and realise that the world you are living in, is not all about money. It is not all about acting cool. It is not about where you come from. It is not about making fun of others while at the same time, having "volunteering charity aid in Africa and feeling empathy...realising the difference and wanting to change the world.." in your fucking personal statement.

It is not about where you graduated from. It is about who you have become. What is the point of getting an offer in Cambridge when inside, you are a plain monster? What is the point of having lots of money while mocking poor people?

Do you really enjoy that? I mean, ask yourself, do you really enjoy that? Do you even read newspaper? Do you even know what is going on in Gaza? Do you know how many people die from HUNGER? Do you know? Do you fucking know?

Enough of this rant. I am out, saying farewell to you lame jerks and assholes. I have better things to do.

Bye, bitches.

One over two term = half term. (Lmae)

I have been thinking about the half term break. (A bit too early you say. But pfft.) And I think I am going to France to visit my sister again. Probably going to stay there from the 15th till 20th of February.. The last time I went there was in October 2008. Hmm … It means I have to dish out more than a hundred quid to go. Not that it is not worth it, but I can’t help but question: why does travelling have to be so expensive? :/ (Don’t answer that. It is a rhetorical question.)

But I doubt I would be visiting many places. I don’t think I will see Paris at all. It is all the way to Besancon. All I want to do there is really just find a place where I can lie down, and relax. Sleep without worrying others complaining about my whatever-I-did-during-my-sleeps. Not worrying about thieves. Read books and actually finish them. And hang out with my sister. And not feeling guilty of dining in restaurants.

Don’t get me wrong. Of course I want to go out with my friends. But family comes first don’t you agree? And by the time I come back to London, I can still go for the Cambridge University open days organized by the Cambridge Bruneian Society (CUBS) which I am sure will be exciting and fun, and also have the remaining day to go….wild!

And we will have great fun then, I am sure. ;) HAHA.

Not moving yet moving.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Imagine a room that is in a mess, or in a process of getting messy; wind from the outside blowing notes and books on the inside, the accumulated dusts now trying to be free from its nature. Stop there, and now I am presenting you with the new image of the room. Everything seems to be settled. The wind has stopped blowing the papers and dusts.

My life is like that room. Not yet in a perfect state but on the process of getting better. What I need is my own self cleaning up my room.

So I go on and sweep off the dust away to where they deserve; the rubbish bin. I have forgiven the dust that irritated my eyes. I have forgotten about the bad things the wind has done to my notes. I am not a cruel person and I forgive and forget, at least for now.

I have other things on mind. It has been four months or so that I have not talked to family and friends back in Brunei. The feeling of missing people who have been there for me for years, starts to grow in me, and hardens not so drastically it hurts, but very slowly it makes me feel a bit apprehensive.

I do miss my family and friends. Staying away from them make me realize how horrible, in some aspects, I was to them. I would like to be better. Realistically speaking, it may not be possible to be perfect. But at least, I want to try to be a better person.

Half term... well, I am sure talking about half term break that starts on the 14th of February may be a bit too anticipating. But I can’t help but feel eager of getting my hands off the files and school stuffs. I would love to go out and enjoy what life has to offer. :)

May sound irrelevant to what I just said but I would like to point out that... whatever you do, be happy and always appreciate things even the smaller ones. You may never know the pieces that you think you hate maybe the pieces that you will miss, later on.

Friendship = Let us go on a ship

It is amazing how friends can be easily made in a matter of hours. Or how friendship need to develop over years. Or how you befriend someone and you have never heard of the person ever again. Or…friends who just become strangers. Or.. many more.

Well, basically my point is that…life is just so…weird. OR interesting.

But I am glad to have real friends. You know who you are. ;) In Brunei

Friends from Brunei who go to UK as well

And new friends that I am very much thankful to find in UK… all those awesome time we had.

Oh.. The film we watched in the first hours of NEW YEAR.... Playing cards in the dining hall of Bhall.... Going to Big Ben. Winter wonderland.... The Empire cinema... Trying food in restaurants I never went to before..... Tubing and using bus as a means of transportation.... Oh, how could I forget that day when a good friend of mine treated some of us in a good restaurant, and having to pay more than 150 pounds. (equivalent return ticket to go to Paris from London yo) Damn.

So many things happened. Good + bad. So weird. Is this part of growing up? The dramas? The gossips? The hatred? The judgemental people?

Despite all shits, I am seriously happy. I know it is weird to feel happy considering the increasing schoolwork load. Considering the things I need to do. Considering me having to think about my future (i.e. university application and what to fill in the Personal Statement later on). While shits occurring, good things happen too. So why should I complain?

I am going back during summer. Haven’t bought ticket yet. Parents going to spend the first two weeks of July in Europe. And then all of us will go back to Brunei. Awesome.

My plan in Brunei?

For now, it is helping my siblings with their studies + have more family time together + meet my cousins + going out with friends I, at that time, haven’t met for nearly a year. Oh, working attachment hopefully.

Its school thing

So it is 2009. The first week of January has passed. What are you feeling? How do you feel of going back to school?

For me, everything is just the same in school. The only difference is me. The way I see things are distinct from what I see last term. It is refreshing. Life is good and I am appreciating every second.

First day of school is… today. Before I even get to wear my new suit, I am already in trouble. I accidentally cut a very minute part of my suit. It was frustrating. But hey there is always sewing to repair the damage.Studies are just the same. Lunch is no different. Go to Kingsland Hall and sit. But I feel different and I feel real good about myself.

I don’t care what people think anymore. I mean it in a good way. I am not alone in this world. In a country called Brunei, there are my family who probably asleep by now. In that country, I have friends who I am still connected with. In France, there my sister resides. In UK,I have friends from different schools who are there for me. In my own school, there are people who I feel comfortable around with.

Life is good. It was depressing at first to leave friends I hang out with during the holidays. It was sad to not be able to see my family. But I am not going to whine. Ahead of me are challenges. And I am more than ready to take them.

2009, you better watch out. ;D

Legal babe

Before you read this, may I warn you that you can become bored.

The day on my birthday:

I woke up with a red eye that never disappeared till now, early in the morning. I went to the basement of BH to do my laundry. Almost all my clothes were to be washed so I decided not to take a shower and waited for two hour at least, so I could have something to wear.

I had cereal for breakfast and instant noodle for lunch. In the afternoon, Ain and Sin Yi watched ‘Changeling’ at Empire with me. The film was good. Big two thumbs to Angelina Jolie. Later, we (except Sin Yi) tried the ‘insane’ ride in the Leicester Square’s Winter Wonderland.

Farringdon was our next stop. We met up with Nadia and Cristina in the tube station. Five of us walked to Tinseltown and had awesome time together. Great food, good music and Hollywood-style atmosphere. What more can you ask for?

We tube-d back to Paddington where we dropped off Nadia at the hotel where she is staying at. The rest went to Bhall.Basically, my birthday was not extreme. But it was fun. Thanks to Nadia + Cristina for the cookies and card. Thanks to Ain + Sin Yi for the cool jacket. ;)

Now that I am 18, you ask me, when am I going to do extreme exciting stuffs? I have all year for that. HAHA. ;P

2009

31st December:

Watched ‘YESMAN’ with Ain and Sin Yi. Later, we decided to walk all the way from Picadilly to BH, stopping over at many shops in the Oxford Street. Haha

Was not feeling so good afterwards. Had major headache. Consumed two panadols. And went to sleep.

9p.m. I decided to go out, not wanting to miss out London’s NY celebration, the countdown and fireworks. Went to Embankment. Was not so great. But it could be worse.

Then stayed up late, eating lemon chicken thanks to Nadia (Strathallan)

Then watched THE STRANGERS!!!!

It was funn!!! The film had no happy ending but we had a ‘good laugh’ all time. We decided to watch another film ‘My Big Fat Greek wedding’ But in the first few minutes I was really sleepy. So I went to sleep.

Anyway, HNY Friends!